Tell her how you feel
in Toxic Mom Friends
January 01 2019
First of all, I can totally relate to crying as a first response to hurt or anger! It sounds like this woman is really insecure. It’s not normal to use children against each other or as a way to criticize another mom’s choices, and it sounds like this lady has done both.
That being said, confrontation is hard for a lot of people (🙋🏼♀️). I’m not sure if you need to have a conversation with her at first- maybe just take as much distance as possible for now. Write a letter to her about all the ways you feel, all the things she’s done to piss you off, but don’t send it. Just have it on your computer so that if she doesn’t take the hint by the distance, you could use it as a guide for the “break up”. (In person, on the phone, by email- no judgements!)
As far as telling the other moms what she’s said about them- I would probably decide on a per case basis: will it change anything if they knew? (Other than them not liking her anymore)
Finally, I hope you understand that this woman’s words and negativity aren’t about you at all- she’s probably not going to change, no matter what you say to her anyhow. I hope you can find some other cool moms to hang out with because you sound like a good friend!