Tell her how you feel
in Toxic Mom Friends
January 01 2019
First of all, I can totally relate to crying as a first response to hurt or anger! It sounds like this woman is really insecure. It’s not normal to use children against each other or as a way to criticize another mom’s choices, and it sounds like this lady has done both.
That being said, confrontation is hard for a lot of people (🙋🏼♀️). I’m not sure if you need to have a conversation with her at first- maybe just take as much distance as possible for now. Write a letter to her about all the ways you feel, all the things she’s done to piss you off, but don’t send it. Just have it on your computer so that if she doesn’t take the hint by the distance, you could use it as a guide for the “break up”. (In person, on the phone, by email- no judgements!)
As far as telling the other moms what she’s said about them- I would probably decide on a per case basis: will it change anything if they knew? (Other than them not liking her anymore)
Finally, I hope you understand that this woman’s words and negativity aren’t about you at all- she’s probably not going to change, no matter what you say to her anyhow. I hope you can find some other cool moms to hang out with because you sound like a good friend!
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Mouse
Be honest with her. If she starts talking about someone say “i’m sorry i do not wish to talk about other people in a negative way.” Walk away if you’re in a group setting. Or just say “that’s a friend of mine you’re talking about and this conversation is over.” Shut it down before it starts. I do think you should tell someone if they make you uncomfortable, otherwise, how would they know? I would refrain from telling the others. That leaves you open to drama. Speaking from experience, you can end up being blamed for it.